


Your Life Is Not A Drinking Game

by Buckye



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Gen, Other, PR stunts, basically louis and eleanor talk jobs and morals and are good bros ??, behind the scenes from the escalator pic to the release date of the bondi beach pics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3454661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buckye/pseuds/Buckye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleanor and Louis have a work relationship, but that doesn't mean that they can't be something scandalously close to friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Life Is Not A Drinking Game

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for my friend with the prompt "i'd really like to read something about them being cute together or drinking together in a hotel room and talking about boys. WHERE ARE MY ELOUNOR BROTP FICS" after some wild skype discussions and while I kind of ignored the boys part I hope I got the brotp on point.
> 
> I don't own any of these and I kind of only were around for when those things happened so please be gentle. All I want in life is for Louis & Eleanor to at least be civil friends.
> 
> Oh alcohol gets drunk at one point but not excessively and smoking happens.

„Hey El.“ Louis nudged Eleanor with the tip of his foot from the other side of the van „Hmmh?“ Eleanor looked up from her phone to find Louis staring down at his intertwined hands. Fumbling with his short bitten fingernails he cocked his head a bit before he went on  
“Do you ever wonder, like, where we would be right now if it hadn’t to be… us?” he drew his bottom lip in for a bit before shuffling more upright and looking at her. El placed her phone with the screen down on her thigh before she quietly sighed and leaned back to properly look at Louis  
“What are you playing at, Tomlinson?” she softly nudged his foot with hers in return.

“Well, you know. You could be an unharrassed university student right now. Live a normal life. Stress over uni papers instead of PR stunt schedules.” he heard Eleanor let out an amused huff “Oh believe me, I stress over uni papers well enough.” She grinned over at him to have him shoot it back before it turned into a slight frown again.

“You know what I mean just right. You’re smart and young and beautiful, you should be dating somebody who loved you and be friends with people who appreciated your talent not your… relation to a famous boybander.” With knitted eyebrows he waited for a reply. Eleanor smirked “You know you open doors for me to some good business, I know you do. Us both having to do those pap walks is business for the both of us. And in case you forgot I’m not exactly doing this as a favour, your management pays well enough a-“ Louis cut her off shortly.

“And that is really worth your personal freedom? You get harassed on social media, can’t publicly date who you want to date and get so many bad vibes out of all of this it’s terrifying!”  
With a soft smile Eleanor’s reply doesn’t take long “Louis. The same can be said for you and you know it. I don’t know what management told you that got you to agree to this, but I know for a fact that it has got to be with you protecting your boys and Harry in particular. I know I agreed because it seemed so bloody easy. What was a fake committed relationship against the possible successful future I could craft out of this mean? Also you’re not exactly hard on the eyes either, to be quite frank.” She leaned back in her seat and gave Louis some time to gather his thoughts.

Quietly being shaking by the car going over a bump in the road multiple times in a row which meant they had reached the secure parts behind the airport Louis straightened himself in his seat. “We’re almost there. Ready to look stressed out from a long day of work... oh travelling I mean.” He grinned at her cheekily. “Sure, Tomlinson, just you see.” Was what he got back.

 

They were lead to a closed off section of the boarding area, told to look exhausted and annoyed at the pap’s presence and like they walked off the escalator, after a good five minutes the event was over. Sitting down at the top of the escalator and waiting for their team to have cleared the hired pap El leaned back on her elbows and let her head fall back into her neck. With a tiny exhausted sigh she slumped further down.

“Now come on, being in my presence for 5 minutes can’t be _that_ exhausting.” Louis joked from slightly above her and El glared at him with a wrinkled nose in mock-disgust.  
Sticking out her tongue and leaning further back until Louis was out of eyesight she suddenly let out a snorted breath. One hand flew up to cover her mouth as her knees drew up with her chuckling behind her hand. “Ohmygod.” She let out between huffed breaths. “Ohgod Louis look at that.”

She pointed upwards to the sign hanging above them and with a cocked eyebrow Louis looked where her finger pointed. El sat up straight to curl further into herself in a fit of giggles until Louis slightly poked her sides “Come on, what’s so funny?” he demanded to know and El grinned at him. Beckoning him to come closer so she could whisper in her ear Louis lent to his side and El leaned in “The arrow.” She had to chuckle again just thinking about it “Louis the arrow is pointing downwards.” She bit her index finger leaning forwards on her knees again and pointed upwards again with her left hand.

Louis looked a bit closer and sure thing, that arrow pointed downwards. With big eyes he barely stifled a loud laughter pressing his lips together closely “Oh for god’s sake we walked up this escalator.” After a moment of suspense they both sagged into each other in a fit of laughter  
“Do you reckon we should tell them?” Asked Eleanor in between short gasped breaths “Not a chance.” Shot Louis back and as Alberto walked up to tell them it was time to shoot some more pics out the door in the back El grabbed her bag and Louis scrambled upright, still a bit shaken from the hilarity that ensured.

After the few too-long-to-be-coincidental minutes hanging around backstage as their fake luggage was packed away they both got into the same car and after having dealt with the job part of their afternoon they just looked at each other before grinning again.

“The internet will love that.” Eleanor choked out “I can’t wait for the theories to be put up online.” Louis glared at her in mock offence “Hey, they’re actually sensible people. Plus it’s always fun to see how obvious it is that” he mock-whispered “management” he went on in his normal voice “fucked up.” Eleanor fake shuddered like Shenzi from The Lion King and grinned “Say it again.” Louis put a threatening tone to his voice “Management.” Eleanor shuddered again slightly giggling and Louis went at it again “Management!” as he and Eleanor burst out laughing.

 

“You know me and Liam rented a villa where we and you and Sophia supposedly stay at, right?” Louis said after a short while and Eleanor nodded “Hmmh, yeah, was briefed to post one or two pics with Sophia ‘the girlfriends having a grand old time’.” She put on a mocking voice and airquoted the last bit and Louis smiled wildly “Oh yeah because drinking champagne in a luxurious villa in sunny L.A. is such a hardship Mrs Calder, obviously.” Eleanor didn’t miss a beat “Obviously.”

 

Xxx

 

The day the pics went online Eleanor’s phone rang with three consecutive texts:  
_“Harry is out on a forced yoghurt date, mind if I come up and we scroll the net?”_  
“Oh btw the escalator pic is up.”  
“I’ll bring some more champagne?”

El simply typed back _“Don’t be a slob and bring some sweets as well.”_

 

That’s how half an hour later Louis waltzed into the villa he supposedly paid half a rent for with a not so tiny bag of terribly decadent fresh fruit mixed with grossly sweet American candy, a bottle of champagne in the other hand. He mockingly jingled his keys and shouted “Honey, I’m home” upon entering the kitchen and setting the goods down before Eleanor walked around the corner and tsk’ed her index at him “Now if Harry heard that he’d put you on the sofa for at least two nights and don’t even bother putting that down we are gonna lounge outside in the hardship that is the L.A. sun, I already got the glasses.”

After they had comfortably settled, El laughing about the pre-chopped fruit Louis had brought (“How much more spoiled can you even be, Tomlinson?”) they had pulled up El’s iPad and were comfortably checking the usual suspects’ blogs. Two theories down El put the iPad to sleep and said “Ok here it goes, you drink every time a detail is right – yes even doubles – and I drink every time somebody debunks a tinhatter and” swoony voice “Elounor is real.”

Louis raised his glass to that “I’m not driving you to a hospital El, you just signed your own death suit.” Eleanor grinned back “You are not going to be able to drive when we truly pull this through, either.”

In the end both fought over who got the touchpad stickier with fruit stained fingers and who had to drink more, the bottle Louis had brought already surpassed by one from the cellar and the fruit halfway gone. “Ok ok but….” Opening a tab El had closed before again “Who has to drink for exceedingly hilarious manips? Because honestly this is just hilarious.” Louis asked El who just shrugged.

"We can both do that. Honestly. Did you see people trying to defend the downward arrow? I can’t believe people.” Taking another sip from their respective glasses Louis winked at her “Well we are dangerously cute together, I get why people want to believe what they are told.”

El nodded and grabbed for another bit of Mango, chewing slightly to stall time before saying “Who would’ve thought it would have to go these great lengths though? Honestly, that’s just ridiculous.  
Also I think you still owe me an explanation Louis dear, what made you agree to this?” Louis immediately sobered up as El taxed him with a slightly dazed yet firm gaze.

“I’m not drunk enough for this but I suppose you deserve an honest answer.” Eleanor sat up straight and unceremoniously stuck her fingers into the glass of water next to her champagne flute, wriggling them around slightly and wiping them on her pants to get rid of the stickiness “Yes I do.”

Louis took a long breath before starting. “I suppose you already guessed that the basics are management fearing a loss in sales concerning merchandise and tour tickets, right?” El nodded “Even though your merchandise is hilarious. I’d rather do pap walks with you every day for three years than wear those... oh god did you know there is honest to god _underwear_ with your cartoon faces on them? Anyways, yes I figured. Go on.”

“I once told an interviewer I wanted to have sex with you in an Iron Man costume, now don’t be a prude, love.”  
They both dissolved into giggles and drank a bit more of their champagne before Louis went on “Anyways, basically they played my protective streak creepily well and at first it didn’t seem like such a hardship, you see? Talk about you instead of the night-ins I had with Harry.”

Louis leaned back against the cushions before he went on with a slightly more serious voice “Then we had to cut out the interaction. We weren’t even allowed to look at each other on stage. No interviews with less than two other people from the band present. Mostly even parted in a three person and two person groups. God forbid pap pics. It all blew up so bloody fast and suddenly it was the middle of 2014 and I had people asking if we - you and me, obviously - were engaged and that’s when it hit me how out of proportion this whole thing was.”

He stuffed a few chips into his mouth before going on “And now look at us. Having you flown in for staged airport pictures. That’s just crazy. I mean you get to have a nice time here and all, but this is all such petty business and…” El gently placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly before Louis finished “I just wish we didn’t have to sell this to the public. I wish the public would want us the way we are.”

Eleanor squinted at Louis before grabbing his other shoulder as well and forcing him to look at her. “Louis. The fans love you. No matter what. Management fed them lies. But we are in a process here, I talked to your new team as well, don’t forget that. We are slowly getting there. Planting little hints here and there, even if the arrow this time was an unintentional fail. We’ll get there.” She shook him slightly “You’ve been at the meeting. You’ll fly out of this godforsaken town with only Harry.”

“Yeah and you’ll geotag my ‘house’ back home a few days beforehand and I won’t be seen so people will believe we left together… and-“ El glared a bit stronger “Louis. They know what to expect. For management to actually follow their old patterns so well that people can predict what’s going on is hilarious. We should drink to it come on. Up with the flute.” She clinked glass with Louis and pointedly waited until he had taken a sip.

“It’s starting. Just you see. You’re a loveable tiny menace and people will be alright. You’ll get the best newspaper headlines. The best charities to support. And you’ll rock it all because even though we don’t get to hang out voluntarily that often I still know that what’s in there” El gently prodded Louis’ ribcage where his heart is “is downright good.”

Glancing at the watch on her wrist she gently pried the glass out of Louis hands and set it down on the glass table along with hers. “You should head home to your loving partner. Can’t wait to drink to you two getting debunked after you were papped together at an airport.” Louis smiled slightly and drew her into an awkward one-armed embrace whilst still sitting down. Standing up he points at El “Careful what you wish for, Calder.” El blew him a kiss and winked “Same to you, Tomlinson.”

Walking him to the door El stopped to wave him good-bye for a bit before looking at Louis with her eyes averted. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”  
Stopping halfway down the stairs and looking up at Eleanor in the doorframe Louis pressed his lips together before saying “Not you El. Just what you stand for.” And with a resigned smile on his own face he left the villa.

 

Xxx

 

The moment Harry and Louis arrived at LAX mere minutes apart went by Eleanor unnoticed, however she couldn’t escape the press and social media the second the pap pic is up. Grinning at the screen she refrains from sending Louis a text.

If she had sent one it would’ve read “I’m glad I don’t have to drink for every hour you two trended on twitter.” Or “I’m mildly offended our escalator pic didn’t get that much media coverage, it was just a great a staged photo as you and your husband are.” Or maybe even just a “Raising my glass to you, Tomlinson.”

Instead she just resumes packing her last few things for Australia, having been informed earlier that day that she was to be flown there soon. No use sending a text when she could tell him in person a few days later.

 

Xxx

 

As Louis gets into the car with Eleanor after a last quick goodbye kiss to Harry, who pointedly didn’t look at who was waiting inside the car, El didn’t dare look up to see it happening. A few minutes into the ride Louis waved at El from the other side of the car “Hey El.” And she couldn’t help but grin and wave back “Hey Louis.”.

“Hope you drank to the debunking of the airport pics.” Louis unceremoniously threw into the silence shortly after, which had El chuckle “Nothing to drink at. While your lovely larries have fun debunking us two there was drop-dead radio silence on the end of my fans’ speculations.” Louis grinned and took off his aviators “Excuses, excuses young lady. There was a twitter trend to drink at.” El kicked him in the chin for that. “Good thing I’m not as obsessed with myself as you are, Louis.” Which rewarded her an undignified “Hey”.

Collecting Liam, Sophia and Niall plus Mellissa from the next two stops they spent the ride to the harbour in quiet chatter, Eleanor and Niall taking great amusement in mocking Louis stern face as well as Sophia and Eleanor not-so-secretly rolling their eyes at the annoyingly lovely boys they shared a ride with.

The yacht hours went by without much tohubohu and due to Niall always being able to lift the mood with a bit of a party that drew all the lovely attending ladies in it went by in the blink of an eye.

Dropping El off at her hotel Louis waved her good-bye and el shot back a quick “Till tomorrow!” and the deed was done.

 

A good half a day later El just sighed as she kicked off her sandals as soon as she got into the car “As if these are seriously inconspicuous. They are the literal white van. Anyways, can you believe today is Bondi Beach day? They’ll never believe that.” Louis himself not being in the greatest of moods just sighed at that “Don’t you just love the pre-damage control pictures? Honestly, why do we even do this. What do they reckon will happen in the next few days that they’ll need even more pics of us together? As soon as we’re out of this car I’m having a smoke.”  
El nodded along in agreement “Yeah, me too.”

“And over there…” El points past Louis, effectively blocking his view to the hired pap on his left “is the last fuck I gave about these Emergency Folder pap pics.” Louis stared directly at the pap and El nudged him quietly in the sides “Come on, that was funny.”

Louis looked at her “Yeah but you know how people get when I even just so much as smile at you. I have to glare at the evil camera, that’s my job as angry bearded boybander, isn’t it?”. El pulled up her bag and turned around to walk back to the planes “That’s only for the weak ones at heart, you know that.”

Once they reached the more grass covered bits of the infamous Bondi beach, Louis finally plucks a cigarette from his pack grinning up madly at Eleanor “You know smoking is forbidden here… I love being an idiot and actually not knowing this.” He says before putting an unlit cigarette between his lips. “Nobody will want to buy these pics.”

El pointedly looked off into the distance “I don’t know what you’re talking about Louis, we are clearly unaware of paps and deeply in love doing secretive things such as visiting the most famous beach in all of Australia.” Louis chuckles around his cigarette “You love this a tiny bit, don’t you?”

Raking her hand through her hair lightly she still looks past him “No, obviously I’m deeply bothered.” Louis looks up to her “Not when your outfit is on point, you are not.”  
Stealing a cigarette from Louis' pack she grins a bit down at him “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

 

Once off the no-smoking zone and away from the called paparazzi El and Louis lit their cigarettes and are having a quiet smoke before they get back into the car to their hotels. “Sometimes I can’t believe you actually profit from this bullshit.” Louis says, pointing his lit cigarette at El’s Rolex. “You forget the lovely places I get to visit and my bank account that’s definitely not looking sad either.” El snips back.

“You really don’t deserve my pity at all, do you now?” El grins her sweetest smile “I’m such an innocent darling, no one would dare not pitying me. Having to live in such hardship.”  
Louis grins and pinches her in the ribs “I’m glad you’re paid well to be on my side, Calder.” El shrieks and jumps a bit to the side, being quiet ticklish herself and finishes her cigarette with only a bit of dignity lost.

“I wish you’d get as many pros out of this as I do. Because despite what management et al painted you as, you’re actually a good human being, Louis. No kidding. Wouldn’t ever want to be on your bad side.” Louis squints through his aviators up at her “You haven’t exactly given me any reason for that, now have you?” he quietly stomps the rest of the cigarette under his heel and holds her the car door open before getting in himself.

“With the way Harry looks at me I thought that would be enough.” El leans on the window with her head, gazing outside, knowing fully well that they had never breached this topic in a sober state for all the right reasons. Louis would have a lot to say right now. Over how it’s not Eleanor’s fault. Over how Harry had part in this as well, contractually and emotionally speaking. How this was her job and shouldn’t affect her so much. In the end he settled for his humour and prayed for the best “Have you seen the pap shots that went wild of me and Liam after Haylor was over?” he nudged her side “Neither of us really wants to hide their feelings and we’re terrible at it on top of that.” 

El smiled weakly into her lap “We’re all idiots but soon this will be over." Louis went on "One day maybe even Harry will be ok with you. Just like I have to deal with the fact that he’s still on very much civil terms with Taylor. It’s life. It’s what management did. It happened and keeps on happening, but not for very much longer. You are going to be ok and Harry’s feelings will be ok too, you hear?” he smiled reassuringly at El who met his eyes “Only you could make my bad mood about your boyfriend.” Before breaking out into a grin, knowing fully well how unfair that statement was.

 

The comfortable silence was broken as El spoke up. “Did you see that article about me being Harry’s style idol?” and Louis head snapped up to look at her “Oh god he was furious. El, the last time I’ve seen him like that was after management had made twitter-me say that I’m ‘in fact straight’. He felt personally offended. It was a dark few days.” Louis threw her a pitiful gaze and El pumped her fist into the air letting out a small yet fierce “0:1 for Calder!” that had Louis shake his head in amusement. He already opened his mouth to inform El about how far behind Harry on that score she was but El tutted at him to keep silent “Shhh let me have this one.” And Louis shrugged and let her.

Arriving at Louis hotel El held him back for a second to say “Tell Harry that _he_ is _my_ fashion idol. Make his day.” And Louis grinned and squeezed her hand on his shoulder “Will do.” Before stepping out of the car, both knowing fully well that Louis would rather summon a tropical storm than actively mention Eleanor to Harry. But that was ok.

 

The day the misheard vine went viral and the emergency pap shots were released El took the time to send a text:  
_“#WeLoveYouLouisNoMatterWhat . And you dickhead worried about the fans not loving you. By the way, my outfit_ was _on point.”_

**Author's Note:**

> uhm u can talk to me on tumblr if u wanna @[fjreproof](http://www.louistomlinson.de/)


End file.
